Yashwant Parmar

Yashwant Parmar

Sasha Sobol: What are your definitions of "man" and woman"?

Yashwant Parmar: Basic physiology I guess.

SS: Are there any gender roles that you think should be there and are there any that you wish did not exist?

YP: I feel like there shouldn't be any gender roles 'cause there's no reason that you would have those. I guess back when society was divided by gender roles, they were there. But they don't really seem to serve any practical purpose anymore. Well, they never really did.

SS: Do you conform to society's expectations gender-wise?

YP: Eh... ish. Like I don't wear skirts and stuff but I don't particularly try to. I don't go out of my way to break them either.

SS: Is there anything that you do that might not be usually associated with your gender?

YP: Not really. I mean, I stitched a stuffed penguin once for a friend's birthday. But I have some friends who watch My Little Pony and stuff, which is interesting, but I'm not watching that.

SS: The next question is about two different situations and I'm going to ask you what you think about them. The first one is that a lot of the time when it's socially acceptable for a man to expose his chest, a woman has to cover hers. There are laws in some places that prohibit women from showing their chests in public. The second situation is that in formal wear in particular, women are allowed to show their arms, legs, and cleavage and men don't have any options and they're expected to wea a suit and even wearing shorts would not be appropriate.

YP: For the whole not exposing chest thing, women have breasts, men don't. So I guess it kind of makes sense to an extent.But when it comes to clothing, I don't know, that's just gender roles, really. There are a lot of places, a lot of schools across the country that are trying to pass laws and school codes about what girls can't wear at the schools. Which, again is really strange because they're trying to ban things like yoga pants but not trying to ban things like short shorts. It's just really random 'cause they're trying to say that's too distracting for the guys, which doesn't really make much sense whatsoever cause if you have a high school full of hormone crazed teenage guys, it's not going to matter.

SS: Sometimes women and girls are encouraged to embrace their masculine side, but feminine men and boys are looked down  upon by society and it kind of seems like femininity is valued as less than masculinity. why do you think that is?

YP: I guess it's just gender roles again. How historically men have been dominant in society, so that's just I guess carrying over. Though I feel like that's becoming less relevant as time goes on 'cause I have a friend who watches My Little Pony and he bakes and stuff and he nits a lot does a lot of stitching, but no one really has an issue with that anymore. Well, mostly. Among highschoolers. Adults probably differently, I don't know. Haven't really seen anyone have an issue with him doing that. I don't know, it's interesting.

SS: Do you think the whole thing with femininity being valued less than masculinity has anything to do with discrimination in the workplace?

YP: I don't know if that's directly related. Maybe, but I feel like that's just normal gender discriminations just continuing over because a woman makes something like 77 cents for every dollar a man makes or something like that. So, it's just carrying over, I guess.

SS: Do you think it's important to make the world a more welcoming place for gender nonconforming people? And if so, how do you think this can be done?

YP: I don't know if there's something you can be doing actively, but I feel like as time goes on, it is becoming more accepting. Just as, I guess, society progresses. It just moves on from like the 50s and 70's. There's some people who are trying to take us back there. So I feel like as time goes on, it's already kind of being dealt with. I feel like it's something that needs to be done 'cause gender roles don't really have any logical backing at this point.

SS: Is there anything else you would like to add?

YP: I don't know, not really. Nothing I can think of.

SS: Thank you.

Note: This interview was done in person.

Blaine Dzwonczyk

Blaine Dzwonczyk

What are your definitions of "man" and "woman?"

I define a woman as anyone who identifies as a woman, and a man as anyone who identifies as a man. Whenever a person feels more connected to one of these gender roles, they embody that gender.

Are there any specific gender roles that you think should be there? Are there any you wish did not exist?

No, I think almost all gender roles are inherently harmful to society, and especially harmful to women. There are many gender roles I wish did not exist, but I'm very concerned about about roles that limit women to only being of value as objects for sexual gratification, bodies for bearing children, or tools for taking care of men. I also wish that roles of sexual aggression and violence were not seen as positive demonstrations of "masculinity" in our society.

Do you conform to the society's gender expectations? Is there anything you do that is not usually associated with your gender? If you do conform, is it more because society expects you to or because you identify with the expectations?

In many ways, I conform to society's typical gender expectations for a teenage girl. I am bubbly, outgoing, friendly, polite, creative, unathletic; I love wearing dresses, make up, and heels, and I definitely participate in the selfie culture and even alleged catty gossip of high school girls. I also fluctuate wildly between extreme self-doubt and vanity, another irony of teen girlhood. On the other hand, I revel in the parts of myself that somewhat (very slightly) contradict societal gender expectations; by most standards, I shouldn't be intelligent, or interested in bucking the systems under which we live, or just as interested in sexuality as teenage boys are (the fact that I hesitated in including the last part at all is a perfect example of the double standards we deal with every day). But all of these things ARE part of me. And it's interesting that these things, the few parts of my otherwise very "normal" personality that are a little bit radical in terms of gender norms, are the ones that gain me the most backlash; my relatively tame version of feminism––how dare a sweet little teenage girl stand up for herself and other women!––is constantly undermined and even ridiculed. Likewise, my intelligence has always been something I've felt I needed to hide, and the fact that I even THINK about sex and sexuality––whether that means enjoying Rocky Horror or analyzing sex positive feminism online––is something I always keep strictly under wraps.

The question of expectations is a very important one. Because, as I've said, I definitely conform quite a bit to societal norms, it feels like the gender binary works for me; but it's hard to know how much I work for the gender binary, the other way around. I think that while I definitely work hard to comply with how a woman should look, act, think, talk, etc, societal gender norms probably just exacerbate my natural tendencies rather than determining them. But again, because we don't live in vacuum, that's very hard to tell.

Note: The rest of the interview is coming soon.

Hervie Gisèle

Hervie Gisèle

What are your definitions of "man" and "woman?"

a man has sexual and physical characteristics that make him a man

a woman has sexual and physical characteristics that make her a woman

Both also have different "mentality" and personality that are linked to their gender, although that is more less obvious than the physical / sexual differences.

Are there any specific gender roles that you think should be there? Are there any you wish did not exist?

I don't think there should be a gender role besides giving birth for a woman (unfortunately men cannot go into labor)

I wish men would not act as much as macho as they do. Everybody should share equally household and kids raising.

Do you conform to the society's gender expectations?

yes / unfortunately. Even though I raise my kids / and I ask as much as possible like gender were not important, I still "could not" make my son wear pink for example. But besides that, I raise him as I raise his sisters and have the same expectation regarding chores for ex. Although sometimes I use his "gender" to help me more (more muscle/stronger = help me to carry heavy things that I can no longer carry)

Is there anything you do that is not usually associated with your gender? If you do conform, is it more because society expects you to or because you identify with the expectations?

actually I do a lot around the house. I don't hesitate to use a power drill, work around the house, change a flat tire , take care of my car. My dad died when I was a teen and I had to "replace" my dad who was the handyman of the house. Luckily he taught me many things before he died.

A lot of the time when it's socially acceptable for a man to expose his chest, a woman has to cover hers. Yet when it is socially acceptable for a woman to show her legs, arms, and cleavage (think dresses), the same is not acceptable for a man. What are your thoughts about these two situations?

I think this is ridiculous. I see that everyday as a teacher and don't like it. I don't see why my female students are more scolded than my male students and I have duct tape for my male students to hold up their pants - note that I don't touch them, I give them 2 choices

1- referral for dress code violation

2- I give them my duct tape and scissors so they can tape their pants up.

I was told that I was one of a rare teacher to do address dress code for both my female and male students.

It's either for everybody or nobody.

I am also cringing when I see cheerleaders with super short skirts whereas the other female are reminded about dress code for sometimes longer skirts.

I personally do not hesitate to jog in my bra. I see no reason why a guy would be shirtless and not a women.

In many cases, women and girls are encouraged to embrace their masculine side, while feminine men and boys are looked down upon by society. What do you think about this?  Why do you think femininity is seen as less than masculinity?  How does this relate to discrimination in the workplace?

I also think it is sad. I did not raise my kids like that and Yann had access to dolls  and his dad was not very pleased but I did not care. My daughters had access to garages and toy cars as well. I did not try to impose things to my kids. Also the poor dolls did have a shorter life expectations than the cars: all my kids , regardless their gender, had a tendency to behead them :/

my boy never ask me to do "girly " stuff but I would not have refuse them to him. He actually did embroideries like his sister -traditionally a girl stuff- and he really liked it, he stopped but not because he was asked to stop.   2 of my girls are playing rugby.

Is it important to make the world a more welcoming place for gender nonconforming people? If so, how can this be done?

I think it is important. I think men would be more respectful to women if they were not educated to be "macho" as it is in the actual society - and Europe is even worst than the US to me -

Is there anything else you would like to add?

I think it's crucial to start to change things as early as possible. Unfortunately in HS is already a little bit too late. Parents have a great role in this change, unfortunately "stereotypes" are really strong and I did my best but for ex. I never made my son wear pink / dress/ girly stuff...but my girls wear blue/ sometimes boyish things. I feel guilty but I did that to avoid my son to be marginalized and laughed at

Thank you so much!

Thank you again :)