Aaron Alejo

Aaron Alejo

Sasha Sobol: What are your definitions of "man" and "woman?"

Aaron Alejo: Well, many people believe how men should be always the breadwinner. It's like, men get the jobs, get the money, and they basically just do everything while the women just stay at home and take care of children. It's the most stereotypical version of men and women, but we don't see that in our society today. It's like, today women play a bigger role than men for some reason. You notice how [at this school] there's more female teachers than male teachers.

SS: Do you think that could just be specific to the job?

AA: Well, I don't know, really. It's like, women, they care about kids and they have to be around kids and it's built around this idea that women have to take care of kids and that's what their role in life is.

SS: Do you believe that there are any gender roles that should exist? For example, do you think all women have to take care of children? Do you support those gender roles or are there any that you wish did not exist?

AA: I believe that women shouldn't... well, I mean, it's alright for them to care about each other. That's a good thing. But it's to a point how we're sexist and start saying things like "Oh, you have to take care of my kids and I will get the money. And when I come back, I'm not going to do anything with the kids." And, I mean I wish those stereotypes weren't real, how women are supposed to be always at home and they have to take care of the kids... It's just like some gender roles, like there's never a woman president in the United States. Like, some people aren't fit for the job and it's not because of the gender.

SS: Do you think if there wasn't so much sexism out there, there would be more women leaders?

AA: Yeah, I think if there's no sexism at all, none of these gender roles would  be around. Like, men would people people that take care of the kids while the women are workers.

SS: Doesn't that just seem like the reverse of the gender roles that are already there though?

AA: It's true, but it's like giving a variety. Maybe some males work and some males take care. That's how we can break that sexism.

SS: Do you conform to the society's expectations gender-wise? If so, is it more because you identify with the expectations or because society expects you to?

AA: What do you mean?

SS: Are you mostly the way society expects guys to be?

AA: Me? Personally? Well, not really. Because [guys are supposed to be in sports and] I am not in any sports at all. And how some guys at our school have to live up to the expectations to always have bad grades. I don't have bad grades. So I  can't really say that I'm living up to the expectations.

SS: Do you think it's kind of ironic how society expects guys to get bad grades?

AA: Yeah... Society can be a tricky thing.

SS: Is there anything that you actively do that is not associated with your gender, other than getting good grades and not participating in sports?

AA: I think I look up to my gender roles. You could say that I do, but I think I don't, but I do. That's kind of weird.

SS: The next question is about two situations. First, a lot of the time when it's socially acceptable for a man to show his chest, a woman has to cover hers and there are laws in a lot of places that prohibit women from showing their nipples. And the second situation is that in formal wear in particular, women are allowed to show their legs, arms, and cleavage, while men have to cover all of that and they don't really have many options. What do you think about these two situations and how do you think they relate if they do?

AA: So the first one is how guys can just take off their shirts and just walk around shirtless, while women always have to wear something to cover the breasts. I mean, there's nothing wrong with [women walking around with] their shirts off. To us, guys, we would like that quality to see it, but I don't know if I'm sounding like a gentleman... It's their choice if they want to walk around [topless]. If they're uncomfortable and want to cover themselves, they can. Like not all guys take off their shirts and walk around naked. And then the second situation.. Well, I guess it's just in this generation. Because in past generations [women covered more of their skin]. I'm trying to say that it's our generation that's making these stereotypes. We don't have to live up to the stereotypes. We don't have to wear short shorts, we don't have to wear spaghetti straps, it's just a stereotype to impress the guys.

SS: Do you think there's anything ironic about the fact that in some situations, women have to hide more of their body and in other situations men have to hide more of theirs?

AA: I think it's more about religious beliefs. Here in the United States women can wear whatever they want, while in the Middle East they have to wear veils. I don;t really know why they do it. I guess to hide their beauty. [tells an irrelevant story...] People believe that males are more dominant than females. The males would do anything they want to women because they can't do anything about it.

SS: Why do you think masculinity is valued as more than femininity and why are feminine men frowned upon by society more than masculine women?

AA: People would always want to be the strongest. If we show that we are more dominant to someone else, we can have more power. And when we have power, we are hungry for more. One little taste of power and you go blood thirsty. [That's why men would dominate over women and hit them]. I believe it's immoral and it's wrong. How feminine guys are looked down is because they don't live up to their stereotypes. How "You're supposed to be strong, you're supposed to be a leader, you're supposed to like women and only women." Basically I'm just trying to say how it's power and religion that's focusing around these beliefs of sexual experiences.

SS: Do you think it's important to make the world a more accepting and welcoming place for gender nonconforming people? If so, how can this be done?

AA: I do think we should make this world more accepting. So, my beliefs, I really care about how we treat each other because it's morally wrong how we treat each other badly.

SS: How do you think we can make the world more welcoming?

AA: We need to have some sort of understanding before we can step in and say that this is wrong. So we can be Cultural Relativists, sort of.

SS: Is there anything else you would like to add? Is there anything that you want to say about gender roles or anything we talked about that you didn't get to say?

AA: I think I'm just trying to say how power over each other influences gender roles and also religion influences gender roles. There's no such thing as a female priest.

SS: In Catholicism.

AA: Yeah. It's because some people believe that some roles are only for males and some roles are only for women. And if we do a role of a woman, we think of ourselves as pathetic, weak, and if you're gonna act like a woman, be a woman. And that's really hurtful, but...

SS: So, wait, are you said that if a man is feminine, he has to transition to female?

AA: Oh, no, no, no. Sort of, but it's like in male society, wen we see guy acting a different way, we start saying gay and stuff like that and that's influencing them, like "You shouldn't be here because you're gay, so get out." So I'm trying to say how some people are unwanted in some societies because they're not living up to their role.

SS: Thank you.

Note: This interview was done in person.